Events of the last week have left me with "(We hate the fuckin') NME" by Thee Headcoats as my earworm of the week, with "NME" replaced by "BNP".
My anger at what happened, and my fear of what could happen, is stifled by my friends being so much better at understanding, talking about and writing about what's going on. Which makes me feel stupid.
Growing up, my parents managed to avoid instilling in me any sort of interest in current affairs, or politics, by answering any questions I posed with "Ask me again when you're 18". With little input from newspapers/Internet (obviously, I'm too old), it wasn't until I left home for University and met popboy (previously a politics student) that I realised how ignorant I was.
Still, despite said parents being die hard Tories, I manage to be as liberal as liberal can be, and my political education gathered speed through night-long Q and A sessions with popboy, and through working in a University, transcribing hour upon hour of ramblings from a Trotskyite sociology professor.
The parents are coming to stay next week, and today I have been consumed with thoughts of how I would react, were they to tell me that they voted BNP last week.
It's not beyond the realms of possibility - my mum is a fantastic, loving person, brought up by working class parents who almost certainly voted Labour. My dad is overwhelmingly persuasive when it comes to her thoughts about anything and everything, and therefore essentially has two votes. Although they both profess not to be racist, my dad frequently uses the N word (although no longer in my presence, after I made it clear that I would rather not see him if he continued), and clearly considers those of any race other than his own to be sub-par in terms of intelligence and ability. My mum is more ignorant than anything else, living a West Country village life, where she rarely, if ever, comes into contact with anyone with anything more than a gentle tan.
They (from now on, when I say "they", I really mean "he". I love my mum.) are obviously unhappy with the current government, and are eagerly rubbing their hands in glee at the prospect of potential returning Tory leadership. They are filled with dismay at seeing Thatcherite Britain collapse, and I'm sure they would see a vote for the BNP as being far more of a kick in the arse for Labour than a considered Conservative vote would be.
So all day today, my
catastrophizing has led my thoughts through several potential confrontations/arguments with them when they reveal their recent BNP allegiance to me. And how I would respond. Because how do you respond to something like that? Essentially, I would want to kick them out and never talk to them again (by them, I mean him etc etc., I'd want to sit my mum down and explain the error of her ways to her; I'm sure she'd be aghast). But having had precisely one major argument with them in my entire life (when I told them popboy had asked me to marry him - delightful), I can't imagine how it would go, or who would say what, or how raised voices would get etc. When I once asked them not to tell racist jokes in front of me, elaborating that I found some of the words they used "appalling", my dad shouted me down by saying "that's enough, that's enough" over and over again until I shut up. And sat in silence for the rest of the evening. Confrontation is not one of his strongest points, and nor, evidently, is backing up his views with any sort of considered argument.
I'm very frustrated by the little I know, and how little I know, and the fact that I wasn't given opportunity or desire to create my own opportunity to learn when I was growing up.
But, pretentiously, at least I'm learning now ;)
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Today I have mostly been reading
Shut Up, Bands.
